Dear people on a certain friends list...
Yeah, I might have more luxuries than y'all did when you were my age, but y'all don't have nearly the amount of stupid problems I have. Y'all don't have a stupid fear of speaking your minds at the perceived risk of losing dear friends for doing so. You don't get made to feel like you're just being a stupid, whiney brat on a regular basis. What makes this all the harder for me is that I can't bring myself to talk to you over private message, because I am terrified that you will decide that I'm being a royal bitch and not worth your time.
I know I shouldn't feel that way, but years of having to walk on eggshells around people all the fucking time have taken a toll on me. I only have... maybe two or three people who I don't feel like I have to put on airs around. I wish it was more than that, and that y'all could be on that list. I really do. I enjoy talking to all of you, but I hate that I'm so scared of pissing all of you off. You deserve so much more than that from me. I do respect you. I'm just scared to death of speaking my mind about how I feel, because of past comments. I can't bring myself to tell some of you that I don't like it when you tell me how 'good' I have it.
Wondering why I even bother some days,
-Den
Oh hunny.... *HUGS!*
ReplyDeleteThis is an issue I'm working on, babe. I've been working on it for years... and no, you're not one of the people this letter was aimed at. You'd kick my butt if I didn't open up and say what was bothering me.
ReplyDelete