Blah, blah blah, long time since last post, yeah, whatever.
Warning, rant incoming. Anyone who tries to tell me how lucky I am just to have someplace to sleep at night, or to be glad that I still have my parents around, or any variation on those two phrases will be blocked, and I don't give two fucks if we've been friends for years. I don't want to hear it, because that bullshit is all I've been hearing from people who don't understand.
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So.... yesterday, technically, Dad asked me where I'd been because he hadn't seen me at all... I'd been up in my room, asleep, most of the day... and he asked me why... I told him "Because I don't want to be griped at if I fall asleep in the middle of the night and wake up at 4:30 before going to bed again." Which was partially true... but most of the reason I've been staying in my room is because it's easier on me than trying to deal with him.
Even on his 'good' days, and when he's sober, he's an asshole and abrasive as fuck for me to be around. Is it too much to ask if I want to have days where I'm not being yelled at or cussed at or given attitude or talked down to, or being treated like shit?
It's been a steady downhill slide with him as long as I can remember, and in the last five or so years, it's gotten much worse as his drinking has continued.Yet I'm the fucking problem for trying to distance myself as much as I can from that? I'm the one with the piss-poor attitude because I react to anger and attitude in kind because the alternative is to be berated and verbally abused to the point that I end up running away anyway?
"Honor thy father and mother" is such a load of horseshit. I refuse to 'honor' or 'respect' anyone who will not respect me enough to treat me like a human being and not a verbal punching bag.