Thursday, September 29, 2011

Writer's Block: 9-27 to 9-29-2011

And the forecast is…

What’s your favorite kind of weather?
... Assuming.... that said.... Clear, but not too hot... Early fall, when it doesn't get above 75 degrees.

Remote control

What’s your favorite show on television?
More assumption..... I do have a favorite show on TV: Mythbusters.  

Internet addictions

Besides LJ, what websites are you always surfing?
...Good grief, even MORE assumption....  *sigh* Facebook, The Anticraft Forums, UniFaction, my college classes that're online, DeviantArt, Blogger... A lot of sites...

Love hurts

What’s the best way to mend a broken heart?
....I have no clue.  Waiting it out, I guess.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Writer's Block 9-25-2011


How long have you had your best friend?
Generalizations aside.... The one I've been friends with the longest has been my friend for over six years... One of the more recent ones has been my friend for just over two years and eight months. 

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Writer's Block 9-24-2011

Riddle me this

What is something that just doesn't make sense to you?
That people assume that everyone in the world thinks like they do and proceed to ask questions with such a mindset.  The ones that do, from what I've noticed and experienced in person (just 'cause I know someone online'll say I'm assuming too), tend to get really bitchy when their assumptions are proven wrong, or they tend to get really verbally abusive and/or bully the person who bursts their bubble.

Writer's Block 9-23-2011 (late)

“We built this city on rock and roll”

What are your favorite song lyrics, and why?
Crimony. Assumption city. I do have favorite song lyrics though...

It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir

"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"
She said, "'Cause he made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag ‒ just be a queen
Don't be a drag ‒ just be a queen
Don't be a drag ‒ just be a queen
Don't be!

Give yourself prudence
And love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice your truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (Hey hey hey)
I love my life I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah (Love needs faith)

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'cause baby you were born this way

No matter gay, straight, or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life,
I'm on the right track baby,
I was born to survive.
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made,
I'm on the right track baby,
I was born to be brave.

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Oh there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!

Same DNA, but born this way.
Same DNA, but born this way."

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Writer's Block 9/22/2011

Desert island

List three books that have changed your life:
*sigh* Assumptions.  And I really don't have any.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Writer's Block: 9-21-2011

Bone-chilling birthday wishes

It's Stephen King's birthday! Who is your favorite character from one of his books?
Sheesh. Assumption city.  Not everyone likes Stephen King. I recall really liking 'Firestarter' though.... not that anyone would know that one....

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Writer's Block 9/20

Funny people

Are you more of an entertainer who makes others laugh? Or do you prefer to be entertained?
I like to be entertained more than making people laugh... My jokes are kind of lousy.

Monday, September 19, 2011

More Writer's Block Answers

From the first part of September to today:

 "Anybody home? Think, McFly, Think!"

Who is the meanest movie bully?
I have no idea.  I don't really pay attention to bullies in movies anymore...

It’s just a game…

Do you pick truth or dare? Tell us why?
I hate that game... Truth, because I only do dares from the people I trust not to suggest stuff like streaking... That list is a very, VERY short list, and only has about five people on it...

Can't we all just get along?

What is one way to stop or prevent bullying?
 I'm not really sure, short of letting the kid who is being bullied deck the bully/bullies to knock some sense into 'em.  Letting kids know that NOBODY has the right to make them feel bad is a start, I guess... 

Paging Al Gore

Would you give up the Internet for $10 million? (this is for the rest of your life.)
Assumption city.... That being said, are you %*^$#(@#$%ing mental?! I have college classes that I do things for online, as well as one course that is entirely online.  I talk to my friends online, since all of the people I like to talk to live in different time zones from me.  I shop, I play online games... So in short, NO.

It happened one night

What is the best thing that's happened to you so far?
Getting to meet Michael McConnohie and Paul Eiding.  I admire their work as voice actors, and I respect them as people.  They're very wonderful gentlemen, and it was an honor to meet them.

Killer Queen

What's your favorite Queen song, and why?
Assumptions...  That being said, I love "Under Pressure", which was done with David Bowie.

MVP awards

What’s the most important thing to you (person, animal, anything)?

My individuality.

Blast to the past

If you could travel back in time, what would you tell your 10-year-old self?

I'd prolly scare the crap outta my 10-year-old self....  

Your 15 Minutes

If you had your own reality show, what would it be called? What would it be about?
Why would I want a reality show?

Freaky Friday

If you could become a member of the opposite sex for just one day, what would you do?
.... I'm not touching this one. 

Excuse me, but there’s lettuce in your teeth.

Tell us your worst date stories. (Don’t worry, we all have them.)

Um, no, WE don't.  Assumption again.... That said, the worst one I've had was the date that ended in me being dumped. Turns out the guy wanted to try and get into the pants of my best friend.  She told him to take a hike. 


Where were you?
When the first plane hit? Walking to school.  When I was told? Fourth seat in from the door, front row of the alto section in choir class.

Hey Mr. DJ, keep playing this song…

What music lifts you up when you’re feeling down?
Music with a bouncy beat, that I can dance to.  Techno, Trance, Classical, Lady Gaga.... My music tastes are very strange.

Home sweet hometown

What do you like best about your city or hometown? What do you want to change?
 What did I say about assuming stuff?!  I don't like my hometown.  It's isolated, despite having two highways going through it.  The nearest Walmart's a half hour a way for cripe's sake!  I would  move it closer to Omaha, like, a suburb of Council Bluffs, just to have more access to the things I like to do.

Take Two

In the next life, who or what do you think you’ll be reincarnated into?
Hopefully, a better me.  But quit assuming stuff, Livejournal Users. Not everyone wants to be reincarnated, nor do they all believe in it.

Eraser dust

If you could delete one thing in life from ever existing what would it be, and why? (e.g., paper not being invented or the color ‘blue’)
....WTF are you people on?!

Lucas for a day

If you could write the next Star Wars movie, what story would you tell? It could be anything: a sequel, prequel, or anything in-between. Describe your adventure in 300 words or less. Our favorite story will receive a Star Wars saga Blu-ray gift pack!
I don't have Blu-ray. Also, Lucas is a bit of an idjit for trying to rewrite what made him so successful in the first place.

Fashion faux pas

What is the strangest thing in your closet?

...Besides duct tape shoes, and cardboard mecha armor?

On the red carpet

Are you watching the Emmys tonight?

Nope. Not interested in that, but Mom likes to watch the fashion-related stuff.

Talk like a pirate day!

Celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day by scribblin’ ye finest buccaneer-them’d joke in today’s Writer’s Block, arrr, Scrawl.

Top jokes win me booty.
....I apologize in advance for inappropriateness and immature humor:  At a tavern, thar be a pirate sittin' near th' fireplace wit' a parrot named Chess.  Th' bar wench comes over to ask th' pirate about 'is bird, 'n is told th't th' parrot c'n sing.  So th' bar wench asks for proof.  Th' parrot starts a round of "What do ye do wit' a drunken sailor?", 'n carries on fer several minutes. Th' bar wench asks if Chess be after knowin' any other shanties, to which th' pirate replies "Aye, lass. Ol' Chess knows lots o' songs... Show 'er, Chess".  Chess refuses t' perform anythin' but "What do ye do wit' a drunken sailor?" After a few minutes o' th's, th' pirate grabs Chess 'n holds 'im over th' fire.  Chess immediately begins singin' "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire!"


Looking at a friend's Writer's Block livejournal, I kinda wanna transfer some or all of the "Writer's Block" topics here and answer them.... In fact, I think I will do that.

Starting from the first ones I could find... though I may wind up ganking earlier ones from my friend's LJ... For the month of August:

Jumped the shark
Which television show continues to get worse every season and should just get cancelled already?
I don't really watch much television.  The stuff that I do watch, I do enjoy, and I hope they continue for many seasons.  Just FYI: most of what I watch is on the Science Channel.  I happily admit my love for that channel.

A literary masterpiece

Which books will you certainly read to your children, nieces, nephews or godchildren?
I have no intention of having children, and since this question assumes as such or that I am someone who will have nieces, nephews, or godchildren, it's a bit offensive.  That said, if I do wind up reading to nieces, nephews or godchildren, I will be reading them passages from Don Quixote, The Divine Comedy, or parts of my manga collection. 

A stroll down memory lane

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Sheesh, again with the assumptions.... I'd rather be rid of my old memories, since there's stuff in the past that has really messed me up.  Being unable to make new memories would suck hardcore.

Scary movie

What is the scariest horror flick you’ve seen?
Why do they assume that all of LJ watches horror flicks?  I laughed at some of (okay, most) the stuff in the Puppet Master saga, since it was so bad.  In fact, it was so bad, it was good.  Scariest flick I've seen was Blood: The Last Vampire.

You’re giving me a toothache

What is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?
"I like writing with you." 

Once upon a time…

What is the first line of your favorite book?
Assuming that everyone has a favorite book.... Faaaaail, Livejournal. Fail.   I do have a favorite book though.  From Don Quixote:  "Idle reader: thou mayest believe me without any oath that I would this book, as it is the child of my brain, were the fairest, gayest, and cleverest that could be imagined."

All by myself

What’s one thing that you love to do all by yourself?
 Again with the assumptions... Not everyone likes to spend time alone... I do, and when I do, I usually knit, draw, read, listen to music, or browse the 'net.

It’s Women’s Equality Day!

Do you think women are treated as equals? What changes would you like to see?
*sigh* Assuming.... I'm not touching this one.

You’re perfect, now change

Would you change anything about your significant other? What would it be?
Another one I'm not touching, if only 'cause of the assumptions.

The state of perception

Of the five senses (sight, sound, touch, smell and taste), which would you willing to give up, and why? 
 Sheesh. What is with all the assumptions?  Not everyone wants to give up a sense..... Case in point being me.  Even with all the unpleasant crap in the world, sensory-wise, I wouldn't give up any of my senses.  There's way too many pleasing sensory experiences that I wouldn't want to miss out on.

Everybody hurts

Have you or a friend ever been bullied? How did you get through it?
Assumptions.... *sigh* I have been bullied off and on over the years.  At the time, I didn't handle it well, but as I've gotten older, I've realized how stupid it was to get upset over temporary issues. I'm working on the "You are not even worth acknowledging." Look for when I do get bullied in the future, and I've gotten quite good at it. 

Sweet tooth

What is your favorite candy or dessert?
*sigh* Apparently, August was the month of assumptions. That being said, I really like lemon-flavored desserts.

Thursday, September 15, 2011


Okay, so now we've got days where it's cold enough during the day that I am bundled up with blankets and am considering getting my fingerless gloves out for the season.  Just three days ago, it was so blurdy hot that I couldn't breathe.  Guess this means it's almost fall....

Monday, September 12, 2011


I do NOT like heat and humidity in combination... I have difficulty breathing (due to allergies, but thankfully, I haven't had a major reaction in several years *fingers crossed*) when it gets above 75 if the humidity is high, and most days, when it does get above 75, the humidity is up too.  So I spend a lot of time indoors, usually sitting and working on stuff on the computer, or playing "Just Dance" or "Just Dance 2" on the Wii.  Once it cools off a bit more, closer to my birthday, I'll be more inclined to go outside and do more than just walk to and from the post office or school.  I kind of want to light a bonfire on Samhain/Halloween, but I know I won't be able to unless I visit Kat and her mom.

I guess I'll get back to work on my Deckerd costume for now...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Freaky Dreams

Okay.  So those of you who know me well enough know that my imagination is almost over-active.  At night, this leads to freaky, often nonsensical dreams that are often mildly disturbing.  I don't dream about flying unicorns, fluffy pink bunnies, or talking animals... I dream about walking along highways, car accidents, and getting lost in strange cities, or other things that very well COULD happen to me at some time in the future. 

Case in point is the dream I had just before I woke up for the day:  I was backpacking somewhere... and it had gotten dark and spooky... and there was this little, shady, creepy guy walking along a wall, while I was walking closer to the road... I just KNEW that the guy was up to something... and once I got sick of him following just inside my 'potential threat' perimeter, I turned to tell him off.  He rushed me and I tried grabbing at his jacket collar, but he slipped out of my grip and tried circling around to my blind spot, which I wouldn't allow.  I finally got my hands on his collar and both of his wrists, followed shortly by his ankles as well... He couldn't have been any taller than 5'2", and maybe 100lbs soaking wet... but I hauled him over to this roadside diner that was open at whatever time of night the dream was set....   and as I was telling the waitress that the guy had tried robbing me, I woke up.

One of my friends interpreted it as my mind thinking that my problems aren't so big that they can't be overcome.... I think it's either that, or me realizing that some of the things that scare the utter crap out of me are things that I can deal with and not have to fear anymore....  Maybe we're both right.

Friday, September 2, 2011


I think, from here on out, I will post solely on this blog when I have an update or thought... if only because I can access this ten times out of ten.  I've been having issues accessing my blog on Blogdrive, which is rather strange, but oh well.

Parents and Myself.... And a bit of a rant...

Thoughts Regarding My Parents and Myself Aug 13, 11
Something I'm having a hard time coming to terms with is the fact that my parents don't approve of me liking anime, Transformers, cosplaying, and my desire to be a graphic designer.  Is it some suppressed sadness that they have allowed themselves to be forced into "growing up" as they've gotten older?  Is it jealousy that I'm doing my own thing without the constraints of what society seems to think I should be doing with my life?  Is it that they just don't like the things I'm into (possibly.  Then again, they're in their 50s, while I'm a 24-year old.  There's a 28-year gap between Mom and me, and she's younger than Dad by two years) ? Or is it fear that they're losing the little girl who used to play with barbies and wanted to be a ballerina or a doctor?  I'm not sure.

Ever since I got into anime at around 13-14 years of age, I've been told that I'm "too old" for "cartoons".  I have been told that I am "too old" for dolls.  I've also been told that "A 22, almost 23, year old should NOT still have toys!" by my mother.  Each time I've been told I'm "too old" for something, I've dug my heels in and resisted "growing up".  I currently have over 50 Transformers toys in my possessions, as well as several dolls of various makes, with several in various stages of customization.  I am of the firm belief that I should not have to give up the things that I love just because I reach a certain numerical value that states how long I have been alive.  I have believed this for well over ten years, and I have no intention of changing my tune. 

I also do not understand why I should stop cosplaying.  I make all of my costumes, most of them from scratch, and have learned many things from doing so.  I could make my own clothing if supplied with fabric to do so, and I learn about pattern making as well as engineering with the more complicated costumes.  Should I, a 24 year old who is saving her pennies to go to an art school out west (mostly 'cause I'm sick of the cold midwest winters), be forced to give up something that amounts to practice for other, non-costuming-related articles of clothing or whatever I may need to work on in the future to stay comfortable and happy?  No. 

I will not accept that apparent "rule" that says that an adult should never dress up in costume aside from Halloween, and then only if one has offspring, or a costume party to attend.  I will not give up doing something I love just to make someone else (my mom, mostly. Though I suspect Dad doesn't think too highly of my cosplaying either... At least I don't dress in things that are overly revealing!  Most of my costumes would be acceptable every-day wear even in polite company!) happy. 

In short, despite my parents' aversion to me being me, I will not compromise myself just to please them.  If they can't love me for the odd derp I am, then maybe, just maybe, I need to distance myself from them for good.

A Very Serious Topic

... I have no words... May 01, 11
Osama Bin Laden has been killed, according to several well-known news sites like MSNBC and CNN...

I remember all too well what I was doing when I first heard about the attack on the World Trade Center.  I was 14 at the time, in choir class, and was sitting in the front row, fourth seat in from the door. We had just gotten roll call done, when the district administrator entered the room and told us that the World Trade Center had been crashed into.  For the rest of the day, and for many days after, the library was crowded with students and teachers watching the television screens.

As I sit and write this, I have the news on, and President Obama is addressing the nation about this.  It has been confirmed that Bin Laden is dead, as proven by DNA.  This day will be forever remembered, not only by those whose lives were directly affected by the attacks, but by all Americans.

Updated After a Gap

Note to self... Apr 27, 11
Don't neglect this blog for so long next time.

I've been working my ass off this semester, and it's showing. I have at least a B average this semester if not a low A average. I still hate Accounting, but I've been working my ass off to do well in the class.  Unfortunately for me, Accounting 2 is required, as is Statistics, and College Algebra. I'll be taking 16 credit hours this next semester, but thankfully, my Fridays will be free.

End of First Semester

Bad Den.... Dec 02, 10
Yes, I am well aware that I have slacked in updating this blog.  I haven't had much gumption to write on things that aren't school or role-playing related...  I called the Central Access Point earlier in the school year, but never followed through, because I got distracted by schoolwork and other things.  I'm not doing as well in one of my classes as I wanted to, and I have nobody to blame but myself.  I do not like algebra in the least.  I have bombed two tests, and I have two tests left this semester.  Next semester, I have Intermediate algebra, and I believe I will have my required math credit with that class.  I fully intend to talk to a tutor...  But we'll see how well that actually works out. 

November was a bit of a nerve-wracking month for me.  Finals are coming up, and one of my teachers still has not sent me the datafiles I need to complete my project for his class.  I will be reminding him about this today when I have his class.  I have to pass all my classes this semester.  I do not want to be on financial aid probation, because I cannot afford to do that. 

This is quite possibly my last chance to get the hell out of this podunk town.

College Experience Journal Entry #8

College Experience Reflective Journal Entry #28 Oct 12, 10
1. A time that I have felt anger recently was yesterday evening.  I was unsure whether Mom would be back in time for me to have the car so I wouldn't have to cross the highway in the dark to get home from school, so I asked Dad if he would take me to class if Mom got back late.  He was sitting at his computer, burning CDs for a friend, and he told me to walk to class.  Mom has told me that she would rather I not cross the highway at night, and has been either driving me to class, or letting me use the car to get to class.  I was upset that Dad would not take the five or so minutes it would have taken to grab his keys and wallet, unlock the truck, and drive me to school.  I ended up walking and getting about halfway to school when Mom met me coming the other way.  I explained to Mom why I was upset with Dad, and wrote Dad a letter telling him how I felt about the situation that I deleted after I had calmed down.
2. Strategies that I can use in the future when I get angry are writing my feelings down, cleaning something that needs cleaning, or going for a long walk.
Writing my feelings down would help me deal with the anger in a positive way by getting the feelings out, as opposed to keeping them bottled up inside, because I tend not to show my anger as much as I do other emotions.  Writing the feelings down on paper would also give me something to burn when I do purification rituals. The burning of the paper is a way to get rid of the negative emotions and energies tied to the words written on it, which is cathartic and helps me clear my head.
Cleaning something that needs cleaning would help me deal with the anger in a positive way by channeling the emotion into energy and giving me the oomph I'd need to do the cleaning.  It could be something like cleaning my room, or cleaning a sink that needs deep cleaning, or even cleaning up a thrift store find.  This would help me by giving me something to focus on other than being angry, and it would also get something cleaned that needs cleaning, which is always a good thing.
Going for a long walk would help me deal with the anger by putting me into motion.  It would be a physical activity, and since I tend to space off and leave emotions from home behind when I walk, it would help me clear my head.  At the same time, it would channel the emotions into activity in a way that is beneficial to me, as walking is good exercise.

College Experience Journal Entry #7

College Experience Reflective Journal Entries #23 and 24 Oct 11, 10
1. Something I enjoyed learning is how to knit.  I started learning it when I was in High School.  I had a bit of difficulty at first because I had learned how to crochet, which uses different hand movements.  The most helpful thing I did to learn this was to find step-by-step instructions with pictures of how to manipulate the yarn to do particular stitches.  I have a book that I learned the basics from, and I also utilized Youtube videos of basic techniques.  I would spend a few hours every now and then working on practicing knitting.  I had moments of frustration, especially when I was first learning, because the hand movements were so different from crochet.  I still have moments of frustration, usually when my gauge is off, or when I see something I'd like to make, but can't due to lack of yarn or lack of skills.  It's especially frustrating trying to make something that should be made on double-pointed needles, because I haven't gotten those figured out yet.  The rewards for learning how to knit are that I can make things like sweaters, hats, scarves, and blankets, and have things that I could've bought in stores.  It gives me a sense of pride because I can say "Yes, I made that."
1. The most challenging course I'm taking this semester is Elementary Algebra.  I have difficulty with Algebra in general because it is not a visual math, and I do not understand how I could apply what I learn in class to things outside the classroom.  Because I am mostly an innovating learner, I do not like the abstract factor of Algebra. 
2. Some different ways I can work on learning this subject is thinking about the content creatively and metaphorically, studying with classmates who have different learning styles from my own, and by getting tutored.

College Experience Journal Entry #6

College Experience Reflective Journal Entry #20 and 22 Oct 08, 10
1. One of my self-defeating behavior patterns is that I let myself become distracted from time to time.  One example of this is that I will have my homework out and be working on it, but at the same time, I will have a chatroom open on my laptop and be going back and forth between homework and the chatroom.  Some of the possible reasons this occured are because there are a lot of things that go on around me, and the fact that I chose to let these things distract me.  I let myself continue practicing the bad habit of allowing myself to become distracted for a very long time.  This behavior has had the undesireable effect of me putting off important things like schoolwork in favor of doing the fun things first.  I would be more likely to turn in assignments on time and get what is important done first if I were to change the bad habit.
1. I will show up on time.
2. I will put more than passable effort into all of my work.
3. I will participate actively.
4. I will not let anyone bully me.
5. I will go for my dreams.
6. I will accept myself for who I am, flaws and imperfections included.
7. I will focus on what I want for myself, not what others want for me.
8. I will work on my Graphic Design Portfolio regularly.

2. My thoughts and feelings about my rules:
My most important rules are that I will not let anyone bully me, I will go for my dreams, and I will focus on what I want for myself and not what others want for me.  These rules are important to me because in the past, I allowed people to bully me, I let myself be pushed towards things that I did not want for myself, and I was miserable as a result.  The experiences I have had that give additional value to these rules are that I was bullied all through school as a child, pre-teen, and teenager.  I was scared to go for what I wanted because I put value in what my parents wanted for me, when I should have been focusing more on what I wanted, and paying attention to what I really was after.  The rule that I will have the easiest time with is that I will show up on time.  I make an effort to show up at least ten minutes before anything important is set to begin, because I made a choice years ago to do my best to not be late for anything.  The rule that I will have the most challenge keeping is that I will not let anyone bully me.  This will be a challenge for me because I have self-esteem issues, but I'm working on changing that.

College Experience Journal Entry #5

College Experience Post-Assessment Results Oct 07, 10
62: Accepting Personal Responsibility   
75: Discovering Self-Motivation   
53: Mastering Self-Management   
55: Employing Interdependence   
63: Gaining Self-Awareness   
65: Adopting Lifelong Learning   
44: Developing Emotional Intelligence   
71: Believing in Myself
Now compare these scores to my scores from almost eight weeks ago:

Accepting Personal Responsibility:  51
Discovering Self-Motivation:  61
Mastering Self-Management:  30
Employing Interdependence:  38
Gaining Self-Awareness:  37
Adopting Lifelong Learning:  41Developing Emotional Intelligence:  34
Believing In Myself:  46

The scoring for both was as follows:

0 - 39 area where your choices will seldom get you on course.
40 - 63 area where your choices will sometimes get you on course.
64 - 80 area where your choices will usually keep you on course.

It's amazing how far I've come just in eight weeks.

College Experience Journal Entry #4

College Experience Reflective Journal Entry #16 Oct 07, 10
1. Sentence Stems:
1. An outer obstacle that stands between me and my success in college is getting to class on time in inclimate weather.
2. Someone besides me who could help me overcome this outer obstacle is my mom.
3. How this person could help me is by driving me to school if the weather is bad.

4. An inner obstacle that stands between me and my success in college is my tendency to allow myself to become distracted.
5. Someone besides me who could help  me overcome this inner obstacle is my friend Tam.
6. How this person could help me is by asking me if I've gotten my homework done before we work on our stories each night.
7. The most challenging course I'm taking in college this semester is College Experience.
8. This course is challenging for me because I do not like asking for help with things.
9. Someone who could help me overcome this challenge is my friend Kat.
10. How this person could help me is by pointing out time and again that I have people to catch me when I fall.

2. Choices I can make to create a stronger support network:
-I can stay after class and talk to the teacher about assignments
-I can talk to my classmates about assignments and about getting a ride to class when Mom cannot take me to scool
-I can ask Dad for help with my business classes
-I can ask my brother for help with algebra
-I can ask for help

College Experience Journal Entry #3

The entries after the first two may have different numbers associated with them, but I assure you, the title of the entry here is the chronological order that the entries were written in.

College Experience Reflective Journal Entry #14 Oct 07, 10
1. Successes I have created in my  life:
-Graduated High School
-Graduated Job Corps on Honor Four phase
-Traveled on my own over 1,000 miles
-Got a tattoo that means something to me
-Enrolled in college
-Figured out what I want to do with my life
-Overcome my fear of dogs
-Been to over five anime conventions

2. Personal skills and talents:
-Understanding of good characterization
-Musical ability
-Secretarial skills
-Costuming skills
-Duct tape manipulator
-Type at over 80 net words per minute with 99-100% accuracy
-good listener
-Able to laugh at my own "DERP"s

3. Positive risks I've taken:
-Taking a job at a casino in 2007
-Going into Job Corps
-Getting my tattoo
-Asking a girl in one of my very first college classes about her messenger bag
-Applying at SWCC
-Dyeing my hair blue

4. Important actions that I have resistance about doing
-Calling the CPC in order to get help getting to a doctor and or psychologist
-Working on and submitting a project to the AntiCraft web magazine
-Workig on a commission for someone whose attitude I dislike

5. Visualization:
I am writing the information down for my project. I have all of my pictures for my project, as well as the "proof of concept" pictures from my pattern testers. I am excited. Everything is spelled right, gramatically correct, and there are no measurement errors.  The editors of the AntiCraft are excited about publishing my project.

College Experience Journal Entry #2

College Experience Reflective Journal Entry #2 Sep 14, 10
-I see objects for what they could be.
-I am a good cook.
-I can make my own clothes.
-I have a lot of patience.
-I am usually on time.
-I am always willing to try new things.
-I am a NaNoWriMo winner.
-I am funny.
-I do my best to finish what I start.
-I walk most anywhere I want to go.
-I do not let my game characters dying affect my mood. It's just a game.
-I am good at making simple jewelry.

-I am overweight.
-I allow myself to become easily distracted.
-I procrastinate.
-I can be snippy with others.
-I am stubborn.
-I get overly emotional at times.
-I tend to back down rather than try to defend myself.
-I have little patience for people who choose to be ignorant.
-I can be lazy at times.
-I let my pride get in the way of getting help.
-I take things too personally sometimes.
-I snark.
-I tend to forget things.
-I do not express my feelings well.

My self-esteem is about a 6 or a 7 right now.  I think it got to be that way because I allowed myself to become a victim for a few years after my time at Iowa Western Community College, when I basically crash-and-burned due to my own bad choices.  I would like to be more confident and to believe in myself more.  Changes I know I need to make are to stop letting my pride get in the way of getting the help I need, working on getting into shape, and working on stopping thinking like a victim.

College Experience Journal Entry #1

My first semester of college, I had a required class called "The College Experience".  We were required to write journal entries over the course, and that's what a lot of the entries on my other blog are about.

College Experience Journal Entry #1 Aug 31, 10
1.-Score for Accepting Personal Responsibility:  51
-Score for Discovering Self-Motivation:  61
-Score for Mastering Self-Management:  30
-Score for Employing Interdependence:  38
-Score for Gaining Self-Awareness:  37
-Score for Adopting Lifelong Learning:  41
-Score for Developing Emotional Intelligence:  34
-Score for Believing In Myself:  46

2.  My highest score was in "Discovering Self-Motivation".  If I had to pinpoint one or two reasons why that score was higher than everything else, I would have to say that five years of not going after my goals, interspersed with failed attempts at getting out on my own and independent, as well as almost a year at Job Corps followed by a very short job, coupled with my frustration at my situation, had a lot to do with it. 
Some of it was also due to being in my younger brother's shadow ever since he started school a year after I did.  Being compared to him due to his better grades in all areas, while I did well in only a few areas, really hurt.  Even now, I feel like I'm in his shadow because he's been on the Dean's List at his college, and he's done internships in his field of study and done well at those internships.  Always being second best at something like that has driven me to be the best at what I do well, and finding things that I'm good at that he isn't good at, and working on being even better at those things, be it knitting or drawing, or even cooking.
I tend to be stubborn about getting what I want, and I've been learning to put that to good use.  For example, I started Job Corps in April of 2008, and aside from filling out some paperwork and securing a job, I was done by the time December 15th rolled around. 
I had decided that I would not dink around while I was at Job Corps, though I did make time to be social and not hole up on dorm.  I started out on Phase Three, which is the third highest Phase one can be at the Denison Job Corps Center, and maintained that Phase, with steadily improving scores, for most of my time at the center.  I made a decision early on in my time there that I would graduate Job Corps as a Phase Four or Honor Four student, and through hard work, discipline, and a lot of determination, I succeeded.  I graduated as an Office Assistant student, on Honor Four.  I had been a member of the Clown Club, the LRC Monitors, and other recreational activities, as well as being Crew Leader in two areas on my dorm.  Because I was so determined to succeed at Job Corps, and because I put forth the effort, I did succeed there. 
Knowing that I can succeed if I set my mind to it has made me a very self-motivated individual.  I hope to apply what I've learned about myself over the past five years to use in college, and in the Air Force.

3.  My lowest score was in "Mastering Self-Management".  This is something I have struggled with for as long as I have been in school.  A very small part of it is because I have Attention Deficit Disorder, but a lot of it is learned bad habits.  I also tend to choose to do the "Fun" things first, instead of the things that need to be done that aren't "Fun".  I know I need to work on breaking that habit for good if I want to succeed in college.  I have started working on that by not taking the full "recommended" first semester for my major, so I don't have as much on my plate this time around. 
I am working on not being so forgetful of assignments by doing them in a timely manner, and writing them down when the instructor assigns them.  I will also make use of all the sticky notes I have access to, will write down the things I need to remember to be prepared for class and other things throughout my day, and will put them where I will see them as I'm getting ready before I bring them with me.  With consistency, the sticky notes will become habit, and will go a long ways in helping me better manage things in my life.