Thoughts Regarding My Parents and Myself Aug 13, 11
Something I'm having a hard time coming to terms with is the fact that my parents don't approve of me liking anime, Transformers, cosplaying, and my desire to be a graphic designer. Is it some suppressed sadness that they have allowed themselves to be forced into "growing up" as they've gotten older? Is it jealousy that I'm doing my own thing without the constraints of what society seems to think I should be doing with my life? Is it that they just don't like the things I'm into (possibly. Then again, they're in their 50s, while I'm a 24-year old. There's a 28-year gap between Mom and me, and she's younger than Dad by two years) ? Or is it fear that they're losing the little girl who used to play with barbies and wanted to be a ballerina or a doctor? I'm not sure.
Ever since I got into anime at around 13-14 years of age, I've been told that I'm "too old" for "cartoons". I have been told that I am "too old" for dolls. I've also been told that "A 22, almost 23, year old should NOT still have toys!" by my mother. Each time I've been told I'm "too old" for something, I've dug my heels in and resisted "growing up". I currently have over 50 Transformers toys in my possessions, as well as several dolls of various makes, with several in various stages of customization. I am of the firm belief that I should not have to give up the things that I love just because I reach a certain numerical value that states how long I have been alive. I have believed this for well over ten years, and I have no intention of changing my tune.
I also do not understand why I should stop cosplaying. I make all of my costumes, most of them from scratch, and have learned many things from doing so. I could make my own clothing if supplied with fabric to do so, and I learn about pattern making as well as engineering with the more complicated costumes. Should I, a 24 year old who is saving her pennies to go to an art school out west (mostly 'cause I'm sick of the cold midwest winters), be forced to give up something that amounts to practice for other, non-costuming-related articles of clothing or whatever I may need to work on in the future to stay comfortable and happy? No.
I will not accept that apparent "rule" that says that an adult should never dress up in costume aside from Halloween, and then only if one has offspring, or a costume party to attend. I will not give up doing something I love just to make someone else (my mom, mostly. Though I suspect Dad doesn't think too highly of my cosplaying either... At least I don't dress in things that are overly revealing! Most of my costumes would be acceptable every-day wear even in polite company!) happy.
In short, despite my parents' aversion to me being me, I will not compromise myself just to please them. If they can't love me for the odd derp I am, then maybe, just maybe, I need to distance myself from them for good.