Friday, September 2, 2011

College Experience Journal Entry #6

College Experience Reflective Journal Entry #20 and 22 Oct 08, 10
1. One of my self-defeating behavior patterns is that I let myself become distracted from time to time.  One example of this is that I will have my homework out and be working on it, but at the same time, I will have a chatroom open on my laptop and be going back and forth between homework and the chatroom.  Some of the possible reasons this occured are because there are a lot of things that go on around me, and the fact that I chose to let these things distract me.  I let myself continue practicing the bad habit of allowing myself to become distracted for a very long time.  This behavior has had the undesireable effect of me putting off important things like schoolwork in favor of doing the fun things first.  I would be more likely to turn in assignments on time and get what is important done first if I were to change the bad habit.
1. I will show up on time.
2. I will put more than passable effort into all of my work.
3. I will participate actively.
4. I will not let anyone bully me.
5. I will go for my dreams.
6. I will accept myself for who I am, flaws and imperfections included.
7. I will focus on what I want for myself, not what others want for me.
8. I will work on my Graphic Design Portfolio regularly.

2. My thoughts and feelings about my rules:
My most important rules are that I will not let anyone bully me, I will go for my dreams, and I will focus on what I want for myself and not what others want for me.  These rules are important to me because in the past, I allowed people to bully me, I let myself be pushed towards things that I did not want for myself, and I was miserable as a result.  The experiences I have had that give additional value to these rules are that I was bullied all through school as a child, pre-teen, and teenager.  I was scared to go for what I wanted because I put value in what my parents wanted for me, when I should have been focusing more on what I wanted, and paying attention to what I really was after.  The rule that I will have the easiest time with is that I will show up on time.  I make an effort to show up at least ten minutes before anything important is set to begin, because I made a choice years ago to do my best to not be late for anything.  The rule that I will have the most challenge keeping is that I will not let anyone bully me.  This will be a challenge for me because I have self-esteem issues, but I'm working on changing that.

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